Damn busted dam...

Once again it all come rushing at me like a dam that busted open. Why won't it stay closed? I try and I try to put it all behind me but every conversation flows through my head and his face is always there no matter what I do to block it out. Damn the heart that won't let go, the heart that opened up and can't seem to close itself off. I wonder if he smiles to himself because he knows he is still loved so much or does he think it crazy to still feel like this after so long? I suppose it doesn't matter, do I really need to know, do I really want to know? His face is so clear when I close my eyes and his name I whisper as I drift off to sleep. I know that there is no possibility of him coming back to me... I have settled for the occasional comment on a great photo taken.